She's JV to your varsity
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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