Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
