can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
