she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
