I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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