You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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