u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Randomize
