do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
