Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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