Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
