Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
