if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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