My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
