Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
