nut hugger
the condom got lost in my hair
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
