is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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