I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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