some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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