Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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