Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Couch. On fire.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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