hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
