i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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