last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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