He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
