There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
