New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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