You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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