Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
