the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
