btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
