fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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