Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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