He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hippo gnu deer
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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