ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
