My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
