after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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