if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
