when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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