Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
