it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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