I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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