remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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