if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
