Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
