I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
