if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
