At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
