Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
