Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
