Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
