I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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