The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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