I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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