Who did Billy Mays play for?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you win again, gameday.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
this is an emotional support booty call
We're too hungover to prance.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
