I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize