I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
