do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
