And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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