Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
