Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
