It's Friday. Sex?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
