Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
