Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
