I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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