The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
