he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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