i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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