I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
