I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I cannot find my penis.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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