Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
