Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
